Random Word IshiHime Prompts
by LoLoGreeneVines
Summary: An assortment of fluffy IshiHime ficlets prompted by Wiktionary's "random entry" button. Not chronological or in any sort of order. Chapter 10: Frigid - there is a freak meteorological occurrence in Karakura.
1. Hyperesthetic

**Author's notes: I wanted to write something for Orihime's birthday today, but I couldn't think of anything appropriate and I just haven't been able to write anything longer than a few hundred words recently. So, I headed off to Wiktionary's "random entry" button and wrote an IshiHime ficlet for the first English word it threw at me. It was surprisingly fun, I might have to do more of these. :D**

**Chapter warnings: Be careful not to choke on the fluff in this one. I can't perform CPR through the internet.**

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><p><em>Hyperesthetic<em>

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><p>Orihime always wondered why Uryu never took his shoes off.<p>

She supposed it didn't particularly matter; he walked so carefully it wasn't like he was wearing her floors out, and he had a knack for somehow navigating even the muddiest field without getting so much as a speck of dirt on them, so he never trudged the smallest sliver of dust into her carpet. Perhaps, she mused, he had some fabulous Quincy technique he used to keep his abundance of white clothes clean.

Still, Orihime was curious, so one day she asked him.

"Why do you never take your shoes off, Uryu?"

Uryu's eyes widened as he regarded Orihime. "I'm sorry. Does it bother you?"

Orihime shook her head. "Not at all! I was just curious."

"Ah."

Examining Uryu's wary expression and the tell-tale twitching of toes curling inside his shoes, Orihime came to a conclusion and broke into a smirk. She launched herself across the floor and pinned Uryu down by his shoulders, turning her back on him as she sat on his chest and began forcibly removing his shoes. Uryu squirmed underneath her, attempting to plant his feet firmly on the ground so she couldn't slip them off, but ultimately he failed. Despite her small stature, Orihime really was remarkably strong.

Orihime grinned as she dangled Uryu's shoes above his face. "You're ticklish, aren't you?"

"No."

He refused to meet her eyes.

Tossing away his shoes, Orihime pounced on his feet, her smile growing wider as even the lightest brush of her finger against his white socks elicited a fit of giggles.

"Not ticklish, eh? I think you're lying to me!"

Uryu's protests increased in volume as Orihime tickled him harder, and he wriggled and writhed as he tried to gently prise her from his torso without reflexively kicking her in the face. Orihime laughed herself as she continued to assault his curling metatarsals, noticing how his face was becoming redder and redder with each surprisingly undignified peal of laughter.

Eventually, Orihime took pity on him and let go of his feet, only for him to immediately respond by seizing her waist, pulling her sideways until she toppled to the floor herself, and proceeding to tickle her ribcage until she curled up into a giggling ball.

_Oh well_, Orihime thought as she collapsed into hysterical laughter. _I guess I deserved that._


	2. Clampable

**Author's notes: I wrote another one! Yep, I'm going to attempt to write a ficlet for every English prompt-word Wiktionary gives me. I do love a challenge. ^_^**

**Chapter warnings: Um. Don't try this at home, kids. Or at school.**

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><p><em>Clampable<em>

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><p>Misato Ochi was terribly bored. Bored of filling in for absent teachers, bored of the stupid woodwork equipment she had only the vaguest idea of how to use, and bored of Uryu Ishida taking every excuse he could to leave the workbench he was sharing with Orihime Inoue.<p>

_Honestly. Boys..._

Misato began a slow patrol of the workshop, showing Rukia Kuchiki how to tie a bow for her wooden bunny, prising an unnecessarily large electric drill from Ichigo Kurosaki's grip, and feigning sympathy when Keigo Asano managed to behead whatever his own project was supposed to be, before coming across Ishida and Inoue's desk.

_She's talking to you, Ishida. You should make eye-contact. Heaven knows you spend enough time looking at her when she's not paying you any attention._

"Ah, Miss Ochi!" Inoue exclaimed, wheeling around just as Ishida set his eyes on the young girl. _Great timing, kid._

"Do you need any help using your clamp?" Misato asked, as Ishida began to look away towards the desk in the corner containing the class' supply of wood. _Oh no you don't..._

Without even waiting for an answer, Misato grabbed a large metal clamp and slammed it down as precisely as she could over the side of the table, winding up the screw with fierce abandon before either student could react. When the screw wouldn't go any tighter, Misato gave an enormous sneeze and bent the screw sideways, effectively clamping Ishida's tie steadfastly to the desk.

"Whoops!" she cried, as Inoue's mouth gaped open and Ishida glared frostily.

"Miss Ochi," he said, through his teeth. "What do you propose I do if there's a fire?"

_Ooookies, I may not have thought this one through._

Fortunately for Misato, rescue came at that moment in the form of Asano severing his soldering iron wire with a pair of pliers.

"_Miss Ochi_!" he wailed, as a puff of smoke rose towards the ceiling.

Misato flashed Ishida and Inoue a grin. "Well, I need to go and make sure Asano doesn't die. Inoue, help Ishida."

And with that, she escaped, giving herself a pat on the back as she watched a furiously blushing Ishida actually making eye-contact with Inoue as she scrabbled to undo his tie at the neck.


	3. Entertainer

**Chapter warnings: A terrible joke. (And possibly _very_ mild tsundere-ness from Orihime? I don't even know.)**

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><p><em>Entertainer<em>

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><p>Uryu had to admit it, Orihime's comedy routine was pretty good. He always loved to listen to her speaking, and even though the rakugo routines she had picked up from her extensive DVD collection were wearing a bit thin and he would be completely happy to never hear another rendition of Manju Kowai, her jokes were nothing short of brilliant, even if she didn't always think them through.<p>

"Hey, Uryu, why did the chicken cross the road?"

"I don't know."

"To get to the idiot's house!"

Uryu frowned. Usually her punchlines were better...

"Knock knock!" she continued.

"Who's there?"

Orihime beamed. "The chicken!"

Uryu blinked as she dissolved into giggles, before giving a soft laugh himself and patting her fondly on the head. "In case you had forgotten, Ishida Orihime, you live here too."


	4. Boltlike

**Chapter warnings: Nah, this one's completely safe. Again, don't choke on the fluff.**

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><p><em>Boltlike<br>_

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><p>If you were to ask him exactly when it happened, and he felt like talking, you'd get a different answer every time.<p>

"It was when I first joined the sewing club and she went out of her way to include me."

"It was in the Soul Society when she cried over our dead enemies, and I realised how kind she is."

"It was in Hueco Mundo when I seriously entertained the possibility of her not surviving and realised just how much worse off the world would be without her."

"It was the first time I ever laid eyes on her."

In truth, he didn't know.

She, on the other hand, knew exactly when she had fallen for him; the epiphany that the knight-in-shining-armour she had been daydreaming about for years existed in her friend had hit her with such force one day that she doubted she would ever forget the moment of realisation.


	5. Mythomane

**Chapter warnings: This one is definitely a "T" for some of Keigo's false implications.**

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><p><em>Mythomane<em>

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><p>Ichigo entered the classroom several minutes early, immediately confused by the fact that the oft-ignored Keigo had perched himself precariously on his desk and had somehow managed to draw a crowd of the early-arrivers.<p>

"And _then_," Keigo's raucous wail exclaimed over the crowd's heads, "he started to undress her right there in the hall in the middle of Ichigo's party! Can you believe it?"

_Ah_, thought Ichigo. So this was the old news that Uryu had been known to have civil conversations with Orihime in public, and, as per usual, Keigo was spinning the truth into something completely unrecognisable.

"He took her coat because it was warm inside," Ichigo responded, drawing the crowd's attention and prompting a yelp from Keigo.

"Ah, but they looked like they were getting awfully close when they were dancing!"

"The room was crowded, and he wasn't actually dancing," yawned Ichigo. "He was fidgeting because he's about as socially adept as a rusty teaspoon."

Keigo's eyes narrowed conspiratorially, despite the fact that everybody was listening. "Orihime _kissed_ him!"

"On the cheek. She's a friendly person, in case you hadn't noticed."

"Ichigo, you're not helping my case, buddy!" whinged Keigo, tapping a foot impatiently on the wooden desk. "Okay, how's this: _Uryu Ishida went home with Orihime Inoue that evening_."

"And just what might you be implying?" asked an icy voice, and Ichigo felt a blast of freezing arctic air entering the classroom along with a particularly irate Uryu Ishida, who was staring daggers at Keigo from the door.

Keigo blinked, seemingly oblivious to the room's atmospheric temperature appearing to drop alarmingly close to absolute zero. "Um, that you and Orihime _did it_."

Ichigo could have sworn that in the foreboding silence that permeated the classroom with a thick blanket of awkwardness, he could hear every neuron in Uryu's brain firing up in indignation.

"I walked her to her door, because it was dark, and I left without setting a single foot beyond her doorstep," Uryu hissed, his left hand twitching as though it longed to reflexively pull back a bowstring.

Keigo grinned slyly. "Ah, but what did you do _on_ the doorstep?"

Ichigo would have called Keigo and his ridiculous fantasies off at this point, were it not for the fact that Uryu's ordinarily porcelain complexion had taken on a distinct pink hue.

Well, _this_ was a new development.

"_I knew it!_" Keigo screamed triumphantly, losing his balance and toppling off the desk as the crowd dissolved into chatter and Ichigo raised an eyebrow, making eye-contact with his thoroughly-embarrassed cousin.

"Not a word," Uryu uttered threateningly, his Quincy cross glinting from his wrist.

Ichigo smirked. "Hey, it's not my business if you choose not to kiss and tell."

Uryu winced. "Shut up, Ichigo."


	6. Taradiddle

**Author's notes: Another vaguely lie-related ficlet, apparently. Oh well, I quite enjoyed writing this one, too. :) I just had to publish something for Uryu's birthday today, so I quickly wrote this and the next chapter.**

**As always, many thanks to all who have read/reviewed/favourited/alerted. You keep me writing, friends. ^_^**

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><p>Uryu glanced sideways from his meagre lunch, watching Orihime across the roof out of the corner of his eye as he had made an habit of doing. Some days, he would swallow his embarrassment and go to sit next to her, but today his closest friend's <em>other<em> friends had got there first, and, truth be told, he was a little nervous of them, so he sat alone as usual and contented himself with watching. And that was fine; there was no need for him to inflict his presence on her all the time. He knew perfectly well that she had friends other than him.

Suddenly becoming aware that Tatsuki's narrowed eyes were on him, Uryu hastily returned to his lunch, but a giggle from Michiru and a small exclamation from Mahana drew his attention back sharply to the girls.

Chancing a peek at them from behind his fringe, he spotted Orihime regarding him curiously, a trace of doubt clouding her thoughtful expression, but then he realised that Tatsuki's glare could have burned through metal, and both Michiru and Mahana were looking at him gleefully, as though he had become a veritable fountain of gossip. Even the stoic, brainy Ryo, who was usually immune to such trifles as petty rumours, was quirking an eyebrow at him in interest. Just what _had_ they been talking about?

Uryu's blood ran cold as he briefly entertained the notion that they _knew_. This was enforced somewhat when Orihime turned her attention back to Tatsuki and shook her head, a small frown drawing her neat eyebrows together as Mahana gave another silly giggle.

Before Uryu could process what was happening, Orihime had risen to her feet, pouted briefly at her female friends, and started to walk over to him.

Oh, hell.

"Hi, Uryu!" she called, bouncing over to him.

Uryu swallowed his mouthful of rice. "Good afternoon, Orihime."

She smiled, looming over him as she came to an halt before him. "You know, you can come and sit with us if you like. I know you were watching us."

His mouth suddenly felt dry, and he set down his chopsticks warily as he looked up at her beautiful face. "Ah, no, that's okay. I just thought you looked like you were having fun, and, if I'm completely honest, Tatsuki scares me a bit."

Orihime's smile widened as she took half a step closer, leaning forwards conspiratorially and lowering her voice. "She thinks you might have a small crush on me. That's not it, is it?"

Uryu gaped at her. How was he supposed to answer that? '_Orihime, I have been in love with you for years_'? That would have been the truth, but he certainly wasn't ready to tell her the truth yet. She didn't need to know.

He forced a smile. "No, that's not it."

Orihime clapped her hands together, straightening up and flattening her skirt with dainty fingers. "I didn't think so. I'd better go and tell the girls they're wrong, or they might tell somebody and then the whole school might get the wrong impression! I'll see you in maths," she said, brightly, and as she walked away Uryu immediately felt guilty for not being completely honest.

At least it wasn't a lie. Not _really_.


	7. Iambic

**Author's notes: Holy crap a sonnet. Welp. This one's from Uryu's point-of-view, because apparently it has become an headcanon of mine that he's secretly awesome at poetry (see Fridge Notes). But yes I wrote this one in five minutes just after having woken up so don't expect too much. It's just what the prompt made me think of. :)**

**Chapter warnings for ridiculous clichés.**

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><p>How long has it been since we met, my love?<p>

When you tripped and fell over in the hall

I offered you my hand to help you up

But you didn't notice me, no, not at all.

How long has it been since I fell, my love?

Sinking deeper and deeper like a stone

You didn't realise, you flew like a dove

And I clung to your buoyancy alone.

How long has it been since you saw, my love?

That your future would be better with me

I'd hold your hand, it would fit like a glove

The chains would fall off and we would be free.

But although it took you aeons of time

I'm pleased to say now I can call you mine.


	8. Deiform

**Author's notes: This one is more "eh there's a vague link between the subject and the actual prompt". Meh. It's just what the word made me think of.**

**Warnings for a potential lack of canon-complicity, depending on what Kubo-sensei writes in the future. Also the fact that this reads like a small section of a longer fanfic. :)**

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><p><em>Deiform<em>

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><p>Uryu stepped forwards, carefully picking his way through the rubble which had previously housed the Zero Division and averting his eyes from the carnage of dismembered corpses strewn around the debris.<p>

His name fell from Orihime's lips tentatively as he stopped, about ten metres away from her, Ichigo, and Chad, and although a brief flash of uneasiness illuminated his face at the sound of her voice, this time he didn't meet her gaze. His attention was focused singularly on Ichigo.

"There's no other way," he whispered, terrified, as his eyes fluttered shut behind his glasses and his entire being began to glow with a pure, blinding white light.

Ichigo gasped, his face registering complete shock. "Uryu, what the_ hell_ are you doing?"

Uryu's only response was to shine even more brightly.

Sighing in resignation, Orihime found that somehow, she knew the truth. "He's going Vollstandig."

Sure enough, the glowing figure of Uryu suddenly sprouted wings, metres across from end to end and covered in downy white feathers which looked softer and more delicate, more fragile than any you could find on a fluffy baby bird. A ring of golden light danced around his head, like an halo, or a crown, and his bow shone like the birthday card Orihime had made for her brother as an overzealous five-year-old armed with a box full of sparkly pens and glitter glue.

Uryu looked positively angelic, and in that moment Orihime didn't think she had ever seen anything as beautiful as he was.


	9. Faceplant

**Author's notes: This one's a funny! Hee hee. :D I hope it gives you a warm and fuzzy.**

**As always, reviewers, favouriters, alerters and lurkers: thank you. You're awesome. :D**

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><p><em>Faceplant<em>

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><p>He still didn't know quite what made him do it.<p>

Perhaps it had been the bump he had taken to his head clouding his judgement. Perhaps it was the fact that after having tripped over his own feet in the corridor in front of the entire class and landing on his nose, he had reached the limit of how embarrassed it was theoretically possible to be. Perhaps it was simply the fact that her beautiful face was suddenly level with his as she had dropped to her knees, holding out his glasses as she peered into his dazed eyes with concern and asked if he was okay.

No, he simply could not work out precisely what had possessed him to lean forward and kiss her.

He found it even more difficult to comprehend why she had let him.


	10. Frigid

**Author's notes: Again, thank you for your feedback. Have another funny. :D**

**Warnings: Nothing of note. If previous chapters haven't caused you to spontaneously contract diabetes, you're probably safe. :)**

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><p><em>Frigid<em>

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><p>Orihime was having about the most fun she had ever had.<p>

Having spent the evening being led around by Uryu, first to the craft shop, then to a restaurant, and now for a walk along by the river, she was pleased to note that so far she had managed to refrain from making a complete idiot of herself, and her companion - no, _date_, she reminded herself - seemed to be enjoying her company as much as she was enjoying his.

After having rounded a corner and seeing the full moon hanging in the dusky pink evening sky, its image doubled by its reflection on the violet river, Orihime gasped in delight. "Ooh, it's so pretty!"

"Yeah," said Uryu, vaguely, and she turned her head to see that he was smiling self-consciously at her.

Suddenly, a small flash of white over his shoulder grabbed her attention, and she stared past him. "Is it... snowing?" she wondered, frowning as another white flake danced in the breeze behind Uryu's head.

He looked confused for a second, before his mouth set in a firm line and his glasses flashed. "It's July, it had better not be," he muttered, his eyes moving rapidly behind his glasses as he scanned the surrounding area, his gaze lingering on the trees on the other side of the river.

"It is," Orihime confirmed, as the flakes became gentle flurries and the flurries began swirling around them like a miniature tornado. _How odd_.

Uryu blinked. "Come on," he finally said, taking her hand and turning away from the river, not quite managing to disguise an eye-roll as he began briskly leading her away. "It's probably time I walked you home."

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><p>"What did you <em>do<em>?"

Rukia glanced up from her manga, her eyes widening as Ichigo stomped into his room, and gave him an expression which she hoped made her look the picture of innocence.

"I've been reading my tankobon," she said, airily.

"I meant yesterday evening," he clarified, raising an eyebrow.

Rukia stroked her imaginary beard. "Yesterday... yesterday..."

Ichigo's expression screamed unimpressed. "I'll give you a clue. Uryu pulled me aside after school and asked me to keep you on a lead the next time he takes Orihime on a date."

Rukia smirked. "Oh yeah, their date!" she exclaimed, letting a small laugh escape her. "I just helped them a bit by adding a touch of romance to the atmosphere."

"By which you mean you triggered a freak meteorological occurrence," he guessed.

"Yeah, pretty much."

Ichigo pressed his lips together, clearly fighting to keep himself from smiling. "Uryu wasn't impressed," he grumped.

She grinned slyly. "You're just mad because I didn't invite you along to spy on them, aren't you?"

Ichigo pouted, his eyebrows drawn in so far above the bridge of his nose Rukia couldn't help but laugh.

"Fine, you can come with me next time. You can play Cupid and shoot arrows at them or something."

He finally gave in, exhaling forcefully in laughter. "Oh, I'm sure he'd appreciate that."


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